We are living in the future.

Yeah, remember this episode? The one where Lisa goes to the fortune teller, and in her future she's all grown up and engaged to that British guy? The date of their wedding is today.

THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[via The Daily What]

Remember Christopher Pike?

Check out Like Pike, a blog dedicated to re-reading and then blogging summaries of Christopher Pike's YA and teen horror novels. I grew up reading this shit; it definitely accounts for a portion of my continuing interest in horror. But seriously - this stuff is way weirder than I remember. Take this paragraph from her post on The Visitor:

Anyway, Savey drives Mary home and begs for sex. She says no, but he can give her a massage. She gets naked and he massages her butt for, like, 45 minutes, until she tells him to leave. Then Mary, dressed in her robe, drives to the cemetery and humps the dirt pile on top of Jerry's grave. I'm being real.

Although I totally do remember that part of the book - it's one of the only parts I do (haha butt massage). I read a lot of his books that were geared toward older readers, when I was in elementary school (a few years later, I moved on to sneaking off with my mom's Jackie Collins books), and I remember being mystified and mostly intensely intrigued by his characters who - at only a few years older than I - had sex, smoked cigarettes, and had crazy experiences with aliens, vampires, ancient Egyptian gods, and fuck knows what else. I sort of wanted to be a character in a Christopher Pike novel, but I was way too much of a goody-two-shoes. For years they were my "what-if" fantasy; I used to daydream about being Sita/Alisa and living forever.

Yeah, I was sort of a weird kid. But shit dude, I had totally forgotten how fucked up these books were. I wonder if they're available on Kindle?

[Like Pike]

I disagree with Jezebel's opinion on this.

Kanye's Twitter Is Intolerable, And He Must Be Stopped

AMAZING. Just don't actually click "follow" or he'll jack your feed.

Oh. Well, that's lovely.

Thanks for the encouragement, insensitive advertisers. Fuck you.

[Via Woodland Creature]

Spotlight On: Kristen Schaal

I *adore* the TV show Flight of the Conchords, and every character in it.
Including the really creepy, stalker-ish "only fan" of the band in the show.

Meet: Kristen Schaal.

She was just featured on Letterman, so I'm hoping this means more attention to her and more roles for her in the future!!!

Jane Austen's Fight Club

With the recent trend of classic books meeting classic monsters, it was only a matter time before classic books also met classic violent movies:

Jane Austin's Fight Club

...What Did the Cop Say to the Perverted Man in His Car?

I really hope this is real, because this editor is my new favorite person.